


Projects and Money

by hetadork



Series: School Work (I'm turning this in for a grade) [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Agender Character, F/F, Nonbinary Character, Rose/Jade is only implied, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 06:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2457572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetadork/pseuds/hetadork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade needs money for a project of hers </p><p>--<br/>Done for a school assignment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Projects and Money

**Author's Note:**

> This was done for a school assignment in which the goal was to create a minimumn of a one-page story using these words:  
> Abdicate  
> Abet  
> Abhor  
> Abject  
> Absolve  
> Abstain  
> Academic  
> Accede  
> Acclimate  
> Addiction.
> 
> As a personal challenge to myself, I attempted to write Jade without pronouns, which I've never tried before.  
> Any criticism or feedback is recommended, as this is the first time I've written any of these characters!

“Harley, I wish not to hinder you in your pursuits, but I cannot throw my full support at this project to abet you either, because,” Jade read aloud from a letter, muttering angrily.

“Stupid politicians. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I wasn’t even asking for a lot of money -- just a few million dollars! Grandpa used to spend that amount of money in less than a week! And I wanted to help with with it! Don’t you want to help people, Mr. Royal Meanie? Don’t you? Well I do, even if...”Jade continued ranting and got up to ask some friends to give money to the project that Jade was working on.

Jade opened a new chat window to one such -- rich -- friend.

gardenGnostic (GG) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at 4:13

GG: hey dave!!!

TG: you harley im kinda busy here

TG: if you hadnt figured that out

TG: movie deals and all that biz

TG: ya know how it is

GG: ughhhhh

GG: i dont care, dave!

GG: i need money. :o

GG: and guess who has money?!

TG: not me nope poor as dirt here

TG: me and bro live in this completely abject apartment

TG: obvs not rich

GG: you have a hover board!!!!

TG: striders gotta stride

TG: or in this case ride

GG: your bro builds expensive fighting robots for fun!!

GG: he doesnt sell them he just recks havoc on my cousins house >:(

GG: *wreaks

TG: its an addiction hes got

TG: weve tried sending him to rehab but it never works

TG: the rehab facility ends up getting overrun by robots

TG: zahhak is still coming to terms with it

GG: dave

GG: where did you get the money to build said robots, hmm??????

GG: where did your bro get the money to start building them????

GG: what was the agreement between my grandpa and your bro??

TG: okay okay i accede

TG: christ harley blackmail is illegal

GG: illegal? whats that? :b

GG: i grew up on an island without police why would i know what illegal meant? ;)

TG: you have broken me

TG: sometimes i swear your only friends with me for the money

GG: my grandpa gave you guys money first >:)

TG: ya ya

GG: anyways!

GG: hotwire the money now, please :D

TG: jesus what do you even want the money so much for

TG: how much do you want it on a scale of one to ten

TG: ten being roses want to scrape out the inside of your head with a spoon

TG: one being johns want and ability to get angry

TG: speaking of john did you know

GG: no i do not know nor do i care!!

GG: >:o

GG: my want for this money is off the given scale

TG: its over 9000?

GG: yes

GG: *jade grows inpatient*

TG: okay okay how much

GG: a few million

TG: harley

TG: do you have any idea how much money that is

TG: no you dont because you grew up on a freaking island without money

TG: teleportation and radiated steak were normal for you

TG: why do people give you money

GG: because if they dont i have an all powerful dog >;)

TG: max ill give is a million

TG: i dont have unlimited money

GG: okay

GG: guhh im gonna have to ask rose too

GG: maybe feferi???

TG: ya go ask the princess

TG: shes got unlimited money right

GG: fef is not a princess!!!

GG: mer is the heir.

GG: and mer is not a girl D:<

TG: sorry if im having a bit of trouble with the mass of gender stuff

TG: she, mer, he, xe, they

TG: just use one set of pronouns and dont make em up

TG: jesus dont make it a federal issue

GG: ugh!!!

TG: anyway

TG: ill wire you the money now

TG: happy

GG: yes im happy

GG: thank you dave i know you dont have to give me the money

TG: course i dont have to

TG: striders dont have to do anything

GG: ya ya

TG: see ya harley

GG: see you cool kid!!

 

Jade sighs and closes Dave’s pesterchum window, then checks to see if Rose is on. Luckily she is, by some fortuitous combination of an attempt at timely storylining and plot devices!

 

gardenGnostic (GG) began pestering tentacleTherapist (TT) at 4:24

GG: rose guess what? :D

TT: Hello, Jade.

TT: What am I guessing about?

GG: guess what dave said!!

TT: Oh dear he says so many things, I don’t think I have a chance of guessing.

TT: Some funny freudian slip?

GG: nope :O

GG: here, ill paste it for you

GG: TG: ya go ask the princess

GG: TG: shes got unlimited money right

GG: GG: fef is not a princess!!!

GG: GG: mer is the heir.

GG: GG: and mer is not a girl D:<

GG: TG: sorry if im having a bit of trouble with the mass of gender stuff

GG: TG: she, mer, he, xe, they

GG: TG: just use one set of pronouns and dont make em up

GG: TG: jesus dont make it a federal issue

TT: Oh dear.

TT: Dave, dave, dave.

TT: You will come to regret the moment you made fun of pronouns and gender identity

TT: Thank you for this, Jade.

TT: Is this the only reason you began pestering me?

GG: nope!  
GG: :D

GG: i need some money

GG: dave gave me like a million dollars

GG: but thats hardly anything i need more for my project

TT: What project is this?

TT: You have so many that even I have trouble keeping track.

GG: >:(

GG: the one about helping people!!  
GG: ya know

GG: waste removal ;)

TT: You mean the problem of human feces in more underdeveloped areas?

GG: guhh yess :(

GG: thats such a gross way of putting it though!

TT: I am sorry that I do not engage in the childish practice of viewing a natural part of life as amusing

TT: What even is so funny about it?

GG: well....

TT: Nevermind, I don’t really want to know.

TT: Anyway, how much money will you be needing for this project of yours?

TT: If I recall correctly, your grandfather has quite a lot of money himself, being the astute academic he was.

TT: Did he not study something along the lines of amazonian history?

GG: yes he did! but thats not important

GG: maybe you can also recall im only 17 and the government is stupid

GG: >:o

GG: maybe thats why the politician wouldnt give me any money!!

TT: Jade.

GG: yes?

TT: Did you not stop to think that your age might cause anyone to doubt your ability to do something of the scale you are suggesting?

TT: I thought you had acclimated yourself well to the age system in the normal world, but alas.

TT: Do you need me to review how age works?

GG: nooooooo i prefer to abstain thinking about it at allll

TT: Abstain? I didn’t know you knew words like that.

GG: age is stupid why do these people think i cant do anything >:(

GG: and shush!!!

GG: anyways :/

GG: would you be willing to loan me some money?

TT: Will three million do?

GG: yes thank you so much rose! :D  
GG: love you <333333

TT: Of course, anything for you.

TT: Is what I feel I should say.

TT: Instead I will state that I return the sentiment.

TT: And that I wish you well in your current project.

TT: <3

GG: ;p

GG: ill call you later, k rose??

TT: I will await your call eagerly.

TT: As I ensure Dave gets his due for the comments on pronouns.

TT: I will absolve you of any remaining guilt of not confronting him on it immediately

TT: He will have to abdicate his throne of filling endless pesterlogs with red.

GG: thanks :)

GG: bye!

TT: Goodbye.

 

Jade giggles, smiling. Rose is really quite awesome, and willing to defend Jade at any point! And with four million dollars -- Rose really is quite generous -- you’ll be able to get working on your project. It seems today is quite the success!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this through! 
> 
> Comments, Feedback, and Criticism would be very much appreciated. The sooner the better because I might have time to edit this before I turn it in!


End file.
